I am a 2.5 year old tabby with full-stack household experience. I run a strict 16-hour daily nap schedule and still ship: every bird on the balcony is catalogued, every cardboard box is load-tested, and every plastic bag is interrogated within seconds of arrival. I moved snack delivery from a pull model (waiting by the bowl) to push notifications (screaming at 6 AM), cutting time-to-treat by 80%. I am looking for a senior lap position with a view of the window and a warm keyboard.